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职场女性会也要假装不会做的6件事

kira86 于2018-08-13发布 l 已有人浏览
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下面是6件你应该假装不知道怎么做的事情——除非你希望自己一辈子做这些事情,而不是你真正的工作。

办公室女性.jpg
Ninety nine per cent of success at work involves pretending: pretending to care, pretending to understand, pretending you are almost finished with that thing you have not even started. For women, it also involves pretending not to know how to do things you can do. Here are six things you should pretend you do not know how to do — unless you want to be doing them (instead of your real job) for the rest of your life. .

事业成功的99%需要装样子:假装关心、假装理解、假装你差不多完成了你甚至还没开始做的事情。对于女性而言,这还包括假装不知道如何做你能做的一些事情。下面是6件你应该假装不知道怎么做的事情——除非你希望自己一辈子做这些事情,而不是你真正的工作。

1. Take notes

1.记笔记

All meetings need a good note-taker. But guess what happens if you ever show anyone how good you are at this? You will be doing it for every single meeting at the company. One day you may even see "great note-taker" on your performance review. This skill will follow you to your next job, and the next, and the job after that, ultimately derailing your career. You must avoid this at all costs.

所有的会议都需要一位优秀的记录人。但如果你向所有人显示出你非常擅长于记笔记,猜猜会发生什么?这家公司的每一次会议你都要做这些。有一天,你甚至可能会在你的绩效评估中看到“优秀的记录人”字眼。这种技能将伴随你到下一份工作,以及再下一份,最终会葬送你的事业。你必须不惜一切代价避免做这个。

To do so, simply be the first to ask: "Who can take notes?" before a single backside has hit a conference room chair. This will make it clear it will not be you.

要做到这点,你只需要在任何人在会议室落座前第一个开口问:“谁能记录?”这么做的结果是这个人肯定不会是你。

2. Party planning

2. 聚会策划

It will always be easier for management to ask you to plan a party than to ask a male co-worker to do it, because it is obviously beneath him. That is why you must never, ever let on that you enjoy planning, attending, discussing or thinking about parties. Hide your excitement when karaoke is mentioned, do not volunteer your cake-baking skills, and never show anyone how good you are at coming up with costume themes.

管理层总是更容易请你设计聚会,而不是让一位男性同事去做,因为这种事显然不值得他费心。正因如此,你永远不要透露你喜欢策划、参加、讨论甚至考虑聚会。在提到卡拉OK时要抑制你的激动之情,不要主动提到你的烤蛋糕技能,也永远不要告诉任何人你是多么擅长策划化妆舞会主题。

If you do, sure, you may seem like a team player and you may still get promoted. But you will just be one of the few executives who is somehow still planning parties.

如果你这么做,那么没错,你可能看上去是一位团队参与者,你可能会得到晋升。但你只会是为数不多的仍在策划聚会的高管之一。

3.Interior decoration, fashion design

3.室内装修,时装设计

A high-powered attorney once showed an interest in what kind of toilet should go in the bathroom at her company's new headquarters. A senior engineer once suggested the colour scheme for the company T-shirt. Do you know what that high-powered attorney and that senior engineer are now doing at work? Co-ordinating with contractors on office space design and creating spreadsheets about what size hoodies everyone wants.

一位高级律师曾显示出对所在公司新总部卫生间的马桶种类感兴趣。一名高级工程师曾经为所在公司的T恤衫颜色提建议。你知道那位高级律师和那位高级工程师现在上班时在做什么吗?前一个在与承包商协调办公室空间设计,后一个在为哪些人喜欢什么连帽衫尺寸创建电子表格。

4.Make coffee, take lunch orders, clean the fridge

4. 制作咖啡、订午餐、清洗冰箱

Fight against any urge to nourish, feed or clean up after your co-workers, or yourself. But Sarah, you say, what if I love firing up the espresso machine? Or if the sink is a mess and I want to rinse a few dishes? Don't. It is a trap.

抵制任何照顾同事或你自己吃喝、或者为他们做清洁工作的冲动。但你会说,萨拉,如果我喜欢启动浓缩咖啡机怎么办?或者如果水槽里乱成一团,而我就是想洗几个碟子呢?不要做。这是个陷阱。

The minute one of your co-workers walks into the kitchen and discovers that you know how to pour steamed milk into a cup, or catches you cleaning up a months'-old ketchup spill in the vegetable bin, they will assume it is part of your official duties.

一旦你的一位同事走进厨房,发现你知道如何将蒸汽牛奶倒入杯中,或看到你在清洗冰箱蔬果抽屉里一块已有几个月的番茄酱污渍,他们就会假设这些是你工作职责的一部分。

Instead, bring a full pot of coffee into the office and say your husband made it. Bring frozen meals for lunch, and unplug the fridge and tell everyone it is broken so a new one has to be installed.

正确的做法是,带满满一罐咖啡到办公室来,说是你老公做的。把冷冻食物带来当午餐,拔去冰箱插头,告诉所有人冰箱坏了,这样肯定会安装新的冰箱。

Otherwise, you will be forced to set up your desk in the kitchen to make it easier for you to cook and clean. And when you fall behind in your real job, you will be asked to scale back so you can focus more on maid duty.

否则,你会被迫在厨房安排你的办公桌,以便你烹饪和清洗。而当你在真正的工作中落后时,你会被要求减少职责,让你把更多精力放在女佣的工作上。

5. Social media

5.社交媒体

Are you kicking ass on Instagram Stories? Of course you are. Do you understand the nuances of the perfect tweet? #HellYesYouDo. Can you write a LinkedIn post that gets both views and engagement? OK, no one can do that.

你是否擅长Instagram的快拍(Stories)?你当然擅长。你明白完美推文的细微关键吗?你肯定知道。你能在领英(LinkedIn)写一篇既能增加浏览量又能提升参与度的帖子吗?嗯,没人能做到这个。

Unless your job is social media marketing, never expose your expertise. Otherwise you will be creating decidedly non-dank memes suggested by the CEO at 3am, wake up late, miss an important client call, get kicked off the project, take your frustration out on your husband, get a divorce and wind up on a dating app, unable to comprehend what your life has become.

除非你的本职工作是社交媒体营销,否则永远不要暴露你的专长。否则你就要在凌晨3点按照首席执行官的高见制作肯定不陈腐的表情包、起床迟到、错过重要的客户电话、被逐出项目组、把你的沮丧之情撒给你的老公、离婚、最终使用交友应用、还无法理解你的人生道路怎么会越走越窄。

6. Answer the phone; use the copier or video conferencing software; order printer paper, toilet paper or towels; make sure everyone fills out paperwork; solve personal problems

6.接电话;使用复印机或视频会议软件;订购打印纸、卫生纸或毛巾;确保所有人填好表格;解决个人问题。

Avoiding these may mean suppressing every instinct you have ever had, but it is the sacrifice you must make in order to have a truly authentic career. Or really any career.

避免做这些事情可能意味着抑制你有过的所有直觉,但要开创一番正儿八经的事业(或者任何事业),这是你必须做出的牺牲。

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